MY STORY
FROM BURNT OUT & SINGLE TO MARRIED & FULFILLED
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I woke up on my 41st birthday in my beautiful one-bedroom, North London flat. 'How on earth did I end up here?' I asked, as tears dripped onto my stylish pyjamas. I had a gorgeous home, a large circle of friends, a busy social life, money in the bank, an impressive CV and all the freedom and independence I could ever wish for.
But I felt empty and alone. There was no partner to bring me breakfast in bed and no patter of tiny feet. |
I had worked hard. I'd done as I was told. But what had I been striving for? There had to be more to life than this.
I had worked for years as a news correspondent for Bloomberg and Reuters, in Mexico, Brazil and later in London, in the Houses of Parliament. I had an office beneath Big Ben and went to news conferences and drinks parties in Downing Street. I had one of those dream jobs - only my dreams had changed. By my mid-30s, I no longer wanted the life I had created for myself. I used to switch on my computer at work and feel my soul go to sleep.
I had worked for years as a news correspondent for Bloomberg and Reuters, in Mexico, Brazil and later in London, in the Houses of Parliament. I had an office beneath Big Ben and went to news conferences and drinks parties in Downing Street. I had one of those dream jobs - only my dreams had changed. By my mid-30s, I no longer wanted the life I had created for myself. I used to switch on my computer at work and feel my soul go to sleep.
No longer interested in the career I'd worked so hard for, I moved into freelance journalism but I was still working too hard, chasing money and accolades, feeling the need to prove my worth over and over again and still abandoning my romantic life.
When it came to love, I kept hitting a brick wall. Every man I fancied turned out to be unavailable in some way or I couldn't bring myself to fancy those who wanted to commit to me. Where was I going wrong?
I went to therapy, gathered support around me and gradually began to unpick my relationship patterns, which were pretty dysfunctional. I began to understand that I was scared of love and relationship and that I had been pushing men away. My high-flying, stressful job and constant activity enabled me to keep love at bay.
When it came to love, I kept hitting a brick wall. Every man I fancied turned out to be unavailable in some way or I couldn't bring myself to fancy those who wanted to commit to me. Where was I going wrong?
I went to therapy, gathered support around me and gradually began to unpick my relationship patterns, which were pretty dysfunctional. I began to understand that I was scared of love and relationship and that I had been pushing men away. My high-flying, stressful job and constant activity enabled me to keep love at bay.
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It took me a few years to unpack my baggage, change my relationship patterns, overcome my fear of commitment and fall in love with my partner, whom I married in June 2019.
He proposed in March, 2017, in the French Alps, just a week after my book, How to Fall in Love, came out in paperback. Over those years, I learned so much about functional and dysfunctional relationships. I studied psychotherapy and counselling. I had lots of therapy. I recovered from an eating disorder, codependency, love addiction and love avoidance. Over time, I came to see that my experience could benefit others. |
Engaged!
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It also took me a few years to find the courage to leave my London life and follow my heart to the Dorset coast. I can't believe it took me so long to get here. My soul and spirit were designed to live at the seaside. I walk on the beach, swim in the sea, paddle board, cycle through the countryside, jog along the sand and soothe myself with the sound of the waves. It's incredible. Of course, life isn't perfect. I have my dips and my ongoing challenges. But miracles have happened here, as you can see in the photograph below.
Married!
Photo: Camilla Arnhold Photography
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I believe that whatever we have been through, we can find purpose in our pain. My journey to love and to a life of peace and contentment (most of the time!) has been a circuitous and often painful one, but I have learned so much.
I'd now love to help you to find love, peace and joy. It would be a pleasure and a privilege to walk alongside you as you create a beautiful relationship and/or a life of your dreams. |
HOW I SUPPORT OTHERS
My writing, coaching and speaking has changed lives. Many of my clients have moved from singleness or unhealthy relationships to healthy relationships and some are now living with a partner or are engaged or married.
I offer transformational 1:1 and group coaching, lead workshops and retreats in the UK and abroad and speak to audiences, large and small.
I am the author of How to Fall in Love - A 10-Step Journey to the Heart and the creator of the How to Fall in Love courses and retreats.
I've been on a personal development journey for more than two decades years, during which time I've recovered from dysfunctional relationship patterns, with myself and others, and from self-defeating behaviours including an eating disorder, binge drinking and compulsive work.
However, I believe my biggest life achievement to date is learning to fall in love, both with myself and with my partner, and maintaining a healthy, loving relationship, despite my frequent desire to self-sabotage. My ongoing, stable, committed relationship is, I believe, my most important credential. I have been mentoring others through their recovery from dysfunctional relationship patterns and into fulfilling relationships with themselves and others for almost 20 years. I am a compassionate, empathetic and intuitive coach. I'm also incredibly proud that I followed my heart out of London to live by the sea and I'm passionate about inspiring others to follow their dreams. I swim or play in the waves off the coast of Poole in Dorset as often as I can.
I have a diploma in counselling and psychotherapy skills from the Westminster Pastoral Assocation, a degree from Oxford University and I am a graduate and fellow of the School for Social Entrepreneurs, where I developed a social enterprise based around authenticity and vulnerability.
My writing on self-love, love, dating and relationships, as well as on eating disorders and other addictions, has been featured in the national media, including Psychologies magazine, Good Housekeeping, Red, the Guardian, The Sunday Times and the Daily Mail. I have been interviewed as a relationships expert on Woman's Hour and other radio stations.
I also have more than 20 years of experience as a journalist, writer, speaker and professional communicator. I have spoken at events including the Women of the World festival at London's Southbank Centre and The Inspire'd Stage in Mayfair. I have lectured at Bournemouth University and I speak in schools on wellbeing, resilience, managing stress and avoiding self-harm. I'm based in Poole but frequently work in London as well as nationally and internationally.
I offer transformational 1:1 and group coaching, lead workshops and retreats in the UK and abroad and speak to audiences, large and small.
I am the author of How to Fall in Love - A 10-Step Journey to the Heart and the creator of the How to Fall in Love courses and retreats.
I've been on a personal development journey for more than two decades years, during which time I've recovered from dysfunctional relationship patterns, with myself and others, and from self-defeating behaviours including an eating disorder, binge drinking and compulsive work.
However, I believe my biggest life achievement to date is learning to fall in love, both with myself and with my partner, and maintaining a healthy, loving relationship, despite my frequent desire to self-sabotage. My ongoing, stable, committed relationship is, I believe, my most important credential. I have been mentoring others through their recovery from dysfunctional relationship patterns and into fulfilling relationships with themselves and others for almost 20 years. I am a compassionate, empathetic and intuitive coach. I'm also incredibly proud that I followed my heart out of London to live by the sea and I'm passionate about inspiring others to follow their dreams. I swim or play in the waves off the coast of Poole in Dorset as often as I can.
I have a diploma in counselling and psychotherapy skills from the Westminster Pastoral Assocation, a degree from Oxford University and I am a graduate and fellow of the School for Social Entrepreneurs, where I developed a social enterprise based around authenticity and vulnerability.
My writing on self-love, love, dating and relationships, as well as on eating disorders and other addictions, has been featured in the national media, including Psychologies magazine, Good Housekeeping, Red, the Guardian, The Sunday Times and the Daily Mail. I have been interviewed as a relationships expert on Woman's Hour and other radio stations.
I also have more than 20 years of experience as a journalist, writer, speaker and professional communicator. I have spoken at events including the Women of the World festival at London's Southbank Centre and The Inspire'd Stage in Mayfair. I have lectured at Bournemouth University and I speak in schools on wellbeing, resilience, managing stress and avoiding self-harm. I'm based in Poole but frequently work in London as well as nationally and internationally.
Watch this short video to join in my wedding day joy: